Here are some of the posts from my old blog:
Sometimes I just don't understand the human brain and people's emotions. Do all people have emotions or is it possible for someone to be emotionless? This is a question I find myself asking more and more. I'm trying to analyze my recent choices and understand all that I can about myself. This I am finding very difficult. Who knew a journey to find the real me could be so fucking hard! Sometimes I really sit back and look at my life in the whole and I hate myself, I really do. Maybe just maybe I am on this mission to find me and maybe it's a waste of time maybe this is the real me, maybe I am already found. I've fucked up my life in more ways then I would like to admit. Do they have a website out there on how to grow a fucking back bone, because honestly I think I need to read that. Have you ever felt that every choice your making is wrong and this whole plan you had for life went flying out the closest open window? If not, your lucky it's not fun at all.I just feel like every time I let someone in, somehow they come back to smack me in my face about it. My face is really starting to hurt.
Posted by Daisha at 2:33 AM
Posted by Daisha at 2:33 AM
Once again I promised to keep this current and once again I forgot.....sorry.Anyway quick update then on to the real stuff. I'm going to be taking some time off school which to be honest has me a bit upset, but it's not a choice. Since I am moving to PA in March I will not be able to continue at Warren County and Austin's new school will be half day so this will make everything a bit impossible.So onto the other crap.So I was on this whole finding myself kick and somehow got lost along the way. Went right back to all the bullshit I tried to improve. Gave up on myself. I still am learning lessons about the person I am. I am way to kind and way to trusting and with the recent events that have happened in my life, I have learned a huge lesson. Do not trust people so easily because they will back stab you when you least expect it.To become so close to someone they become like your family and you trust them with every bit of confidence and then magically one day they can crush your entire world and not have one bit of remorse, hurts. So why do people have friends and trust people? Is it me do I draw piece of shit people into my life? Do I have this sign hanging around my neck that I am unaware of that says: Hey I'm a trusting person take advantage of me?The sad part is it happened with not one but two people who I trusted, at the same time. I feel empty inside. I feel very angry and hurt. The anger is not going away like I hoped it would, it's becoming much worse. Everyday I struggle just to wake up because I don't want to face what lies ahead of me.I need to shake this crap and keep going, but this time I am finding it so hard.I wish I knew how to regroup myself and move forward.
Posted by Daisha at 10:56 PM
Posted by Daisha at 10:56 PM
I've realized through my journey to find who I am, that I actually really have grown and matured in my way of thinking. I look at things in a new way, a good way. I take things with ease, because worrying does nothing for you. I except everyone for who they are, I'm not the one to judge them. Every person you meet has a form of lesson for you to learn. There should never be a conversation you walk away from without learning something from it. My mind is eager to learn the things I do not know yet. Everyday I look at like a lesson in life weather it be good or bad. It makes the day a whole lot less boring.There is so much I want to do with my life and will do. I will make an impact in a positive way for my children. That is the best gift ever.
Posted by Daisha at 12:34 PM
Posted by Daisha at 12:34 PM
As most of you know my step Dad is in the hospital. He's doing much better.I've taken on a new responsibility of keeping all the paper work and bills for his business in order while he laid up. School will be starting again soon, so things will be getting a bit more hectic and I don't think I like that.That is one thing I have yet to teach myself how to be organized. I don't know why I lack that ability so much. Something about it just does not click with me.I always feel like I am forgetting to do something or I have a million things to do. Am I the only one who feels this way?Take this blog as an example, I start one and promise myself to keep it up to date, but lord I find that so hard to do. My life is just that uneventful.So from here on out, I will try to regularly update once again. Enjoy!
Posted by Daisha at 10:08 PM
Posted by Daisha at 10:08 PM
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