christmas, where did it go?

let me start off by saying please excuse all errors in this post to come. i am trying to do this update from my phone, while i am at work.

Ok now that i got that important measage out of the way. christmas has come and gone. God is it me or was that awful quick?

Christmas eve we went to my cousin Heather's house. The kids had a blast! I really enjoy spending time with my family....they are nuts....in good way of course. After my cousin's we took a ride to Parsippany and my Father was there. I gave him his gift and got out of there as fast as possible. I really do not like being around him.

Santa came and left many gifts under the tree for the kids. They really enjoyed all their gifts. Austin was so into all of his new stuff, he didnt even want to leave to go with my Grandparents for a few days. That is very rare for him. I made dinner for us and my dad. We had ham, garlic mashed potatos, greenbeans, corn, stuffing and cranberry sauce. It turned out very well.

I need to leave work now, i will try and update again soon.

Hard Times...

I've done some soul searching and have made some tough choices over the past few weeks. Things, I believe were good choices, healthy choices for my own well being. Someone else may disagree and although I see their point, they can not seem to see mine. Mentally and emotionally I am to a point. They may blame it on other issues or even other people I may be talking with, but what they believe is wrong. I am not saying I am perfect and that some problems were not my fault. People do change, and it may not be the way others want it. I need to stop living my life to please him and start living my life for me. For that I need to move forward without him. Yes it may sound mean and yes it may be hurtful, but I cannot control the way I feel just to please others.

Moving...

Moving to PA, really had to be one of my better moves. Things are so different not just for me but for my children. They are happier and I am happier. I think I have grown, not just as a parent but in general. I have come to realize what is important and what is not. I've begun a new journey in my faith, as well as instill faith in my children lives. The LORD is good.

Austin is doing remarkabley well in school and we have found the underlying reason for his behavior and his actions. He is moving forward and I can see a real difference that makes him much happier.

Posts from my old blog.

Here are some of the posts from my old blog:

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Hurt...

Sometimes I just don't understand the human brain and people's emotions. Do all people have emotions or is it possible for someone to be emotionless? This is a question I find myself asking more and more. I'm trying to analyze my recent choices and understand all that I can about myself. This I am finding very difficult. Who knew a journey to find the real me could be so fucking hard! Sometimes I really sit back and look at my life in the whole and I hate myself, I really do. Maybe just maybe I am on this mission to find me and maybe it's a waste of time maybe this is the real me, maybe I am already found. I've fucked up my life in more ways then I would like to admit. Do they have a website out there on how to grow a fucking back bone, because honestly I think I need to read that. Have you ever felt that every choice your making is wrong and this whole plan you had for life went flying out the closest open window? If not, your lucky it's not fun at all.I just feel like every time I let someone in, somehow they come back to smack me in my face about it. My face is really starting to hurt.
Posted by Daisha at 2:33 AM

Monday, December 17, 2007

Well I did it again...

Once again I promised to keep this current and once again I forgot.....sorry.Anyway quick update then on to the real stuff. I'm going to be taking some time off school which to be honest has me a bit upset, but it's not a choice. Since I am moving to PA in March I will not be able to continue at Warren County and Austin's new school will be half day so this will make everything a bit impossible.So onto the other crap.So I was on this whole finding myself kick and somehow got lost along the way. Went right back to all the bullshit I tried to improve. Gave up on myself. I still am learning lessons about the person I am. I am way to kind and way to trusting and with the recent events that have happened in my life, I have learned a huge lesson. Do not trust people so easily because they will back stab you when you least expect it.To become so close to someone they become like your family and you trust them with every bit of confidence and then magically one day they can crush your entire world and not have one bit of remorse, hurts. So why do people have friends and trust people? Is it me do I draw piece of shit people into my life? Do I have this sign hanging around my neck that I am unaware of that says: Hey I'm a trusting person take advantage of me?The sad part is it happened with not one but two people who I trusted, at the same time. I feel empty inside. I feel very angry and hurt. The anger is not going away like I hoped it would, it's becoming much worse. Everyday I struggle just to wake up because I don't want to face what lies ahead of me.I need to shake this crap and keep going, but this time I am finding it so hard.I wish I knew how to regroup myself and move forward.
Posted by Daisha at 10:56 PM

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Wisdom...

I've realized through my journey to find who I am, that I actually really have grown and matured in my way of thinking. I look at things in a new way, a good way. I take things with ease, because worrying does nothing for you. I except everyone for who they are, I'm not the one to judge them. Every person you meet has a form of lesson for you to learn. There should never be a conversation you walk away from without learning something from it. My mind is eager to learn the things I do not know yet. Everyday I look at like a lesson in life weather it be good or bad. It makes the day a whole lot less boring.There is so much I want to do with my life and will do. I will make an impact in a positive way for my children. That is the best gift ever.
Posted by Daisha at 12:34 PM

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Long time no check in?

As most of you know my step Dad is in the hospital. He's doing much better.I've taken on a new responsibility of keeping all the paper work and bills for his business in order while he laid up. School will be starting again soon, so things will be getting a bit more hectic and I don't think I like that.That is one thing I have yet to teach myself how to be organized. I don't know why I lack that ability so much. Something about it just does not click with me.I always feel like I am forgetting to do something or I have a million things to do. Am I the only one who feels this way?Take this blog as an example, I start one and promise myself to keep it up to date, but lord I find that so hard to do. My life is just that uneventful.So from here on out, I will try to regularly update once again. Enjoy!
Posted by Daisha at 10:08 PM

Yes I kow...

I know I know another blog.

See I forgot the login information for my old one, so I had no choice but to make a new one.

There were some posts on my older blog that I really liked and I thought were well written, so I will post those here and then just start where I left off...Lucky you.